There's a lot of different songs I had come to mind for a post tonight. A lot of them had to do with being in love, which is odd, because I am not. I am not even close. I think in the past 11 months living this new life of mine, I have been able to somehow realize and accept things that before I could not grasp properly. I have always been a sucker for love songs, everyone who knows me knows that. It wouldn't necessarily mean anything if I had one as my song of the day. I am going to try to find songs that aren't quite so lovey to post, for my own reasons. At least once a week I am reminded of the love I had with someone who, in my mind, is my soul mate. No matter what or where our life takes us, I know I will always love him. I could end up with someone for the rest of my life who isn't my soul mate though, because I truly do believe he & I have a connection that is almost impossible to find. Part of me will always hold onto the thought of us ending up together...until we do or until someone else fills that void for good. That being said, with the opportunities that we both have had in our lives, other things cross my mind just as often. I don't know what lies ahead of me in the "love" department, but I have been able to accept what I have in my life and enjoy them for what they are. I think I have said this before - I am learning how to put myself out there without being too attached or detached so I am neutral with the end result, knowing I did what I felt was right. I did what felt good until it didn't feel good anymore. That's pretty much how I live every day of my life. Do what makes me happy and feel right...and if it doesn't, I change what I am doing. I have discovered the slight lonely feeling that creeps up from time to time, but I also get reminded that when the time is right, things will happen. I am not rushing anything...I don't need to. I don't want to. Well..that's a lie. Sorta. I want to dip my foot in the dating pool, and with being on only a handful of dates in my life (including the 1.5 years I was engaged - I know - sad) I don't really know how to date. I am trying to experience it and learn from whatever comes out of that. Everything I do is a learning experience down here...and I am loving every minute of it. Thankfully I have the right people in my life right now that keep me from feeling too lonely. Great roommates, great friends (new and old)...so I can keep my mind off it. The invigorating part about listening to the lovey songs that I am addicted to lately, is I listen to them because they are beautiful, great songs. Not because I am in love, or am floating on that smitten cloud #9. I can just be in love with love...and hey..loving myself ain't so bad. ;)
This blog started with lyrics, went into a brief description and turned into a full on blog. Why I didn't start this an hour ago when I was contemplating sleep, I don't know. Every day I have new experiences, new moments of doubts, new thoughts of possible opportunities that can increase my already high level of happiness...I have my ups & downs...mostly all ups. This song by Citizen Cope seems to fit just fine...short lyrics to say the least. Good thing, since I added my own thoughts to this one tonight.
Alrighty...I went all over the place like an A.D.D. kid at Disneyland and am too tired to proof-read to see if it even makes sense...here are the lyrics.
CITIZEN COPE
"My Way Home"
Sometimes I miss a step
I stumble here and there
I'm findin' my way home
If I'm lost then I'll admit
Sometimes i plain forget
I'm findin' my way home
You can try and stand in my way
You can say what you're gonna say
But I'm finding my way home
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